no one should ever make assumptions

what is friendship to you
can you tell me it's something we don't have

you led me to believe my love was reciprocal

although
i feel as if you've only bruised me..
nothing permanent.. no broken bones.. no scars.

i now understand what our relationship means to you..
and what it has meant.
time spent with you has been foreplay..
and all conversations have been pillowtalk..
the meaningful friendship we had was just a dream

i still don't understand
how you laughed until i fell apart..
how you talked until i silently cried..
things were worse than my confusion would let me believe at the time

you kissed me on the cheek after you betrayed me

define betrayal
define friendship

i'm not sure if you thought that would make things all better
it didn't

live or you will die

life is a few moments that i possess
why am i wasting them on superficial tasks-

friends are who i make them
& who make themselves to me-

why care so much about things i cannot control-

life is simple-
if i make it so.

things are good right now but wanting so much makes me feel worthless and small-

let go of those unnecessary times-items-& people

there is only so much life left
do what is needed to survive
and then you will thrive
then you can be content
then you will find yourself
then only will you be free

truth is only that which you make it

what do you want

simplicity-contentment-happiness-
but only in its most simple or extreme form-

stop thinking of the unattainable

i am what i create
i am only worthless if i feel that i am worthless

i want to get back to reality
i want to feel whole-

broken praise

is that a compliment i gave you..
oh and another..

shit i gave you too much-
can i have them back-

now i know you-
now i don't want to-

is there any way for me to get out of this..

goodbye

You knocked on my door to wake me and let me know you were leaving
(I’ve been woken up to goodbyes far too many times in this life)

I stepped out of my room-the world was blurry -then you hugged me-

We talked of petty things to keep our minds off of the moment-
I made us cheesy eggs and followed you around-

You knocked a glass on the floor
then gave me the flip flops off of your feet
so I wouldn't step in the broken pieces- -

The time we had was last minute packing on your part, for me,
last minute realizations that you were really going to leave--

Then it was time-

I saw you saying goodbye with your eyes
as I felt tears well up in mine I held them back-
knowing you only wanted smiles-

I was still smiling as you were driving away –
hoping you couldn’t see the tears dripping off my cheek


--You left me your playboy collection and a half empty bottle of rum