restless

the nights have been long-
filled w/ cruel fantasies

constantly waking only to
hope i've slept more than i feel
i have-

constantly tossing-
lying on the floor..
sleeping on the couch..
anything willing to cater
to my violent thrashings
constantly turning
never comfortable...
always aching-

wishing to be somewhere else-
sleeping well as only content minds do--
a peaceful easy sleep, one w/ out anxiety and anticipation-
a safe comforting sleep
feeling as if i am loved and safe w/ in that love

--the nights have long turned into months and still i wish...