the enticing smell of vulgar play fills the air
as we frolic in the sheets-
and stutter with peculiarities
i try not to think of reality
for i ponder too much
this is just staunch fun-
even though it is all too surreal for me
i enjoy the lightheartedness of it all for the moment
getting caught up in the sheer wonder and
dissapointment of it all-
consuming every second

the foolishness, the fear,
the drug of death
they are all slashing and bashing
in my head- will i die from this -
will i lie here unable to control
my fate- helplessly slipping away-

vulnerability is my downfall-
i am unable to fight death which
smothers me- will i see tomorrow?

as life laughs in my face- i weep
for it though it mocks me-
hating my purpose- i am
scared- and cannot move- maybe it
is because i do not want to move
i wonder if it would be better to
leave- slip coldly away- unnoticed and
unfazed by my timely demise

this
feeling
creeps
upon me
like a
silent
hatred
made
obvious-
it
overtakes
my mind
and i
feel
alone