distraught over the life i live
pondering on things past
or things that will never be
never looking forward-
too afraid of what i'll see
wondering how long this dreary life
will last-
can it sustain any more pain-
will these heavy eyes see
yet another miserable day-
i think often of these things and
depress myself more-
but at least my vision is not clouded
with superficial thoughts-
i can see reality
but i don't know if i can survive it
my head feels so heavy
i'm standing still as
i'm spinning in circles
when will i stop
where will i be when i do