my chest is caving in-
my ribs are breaking, crashing around my heart
which is beating faster than it ever has -
my breathe is short and fast

my heart is doing all it can to survive, to make it through one more day.

my body's shaking, convulsing,..
i feel like this must be it, but i'm still alive
i'm still standing
still smiling

my face is burning
my head is throbbing
but i'm not crying
i'm not panicking
i'm just watching you walk away


i wasn't trying to imply i don't want to be your friend anymore,
only that i'm not ready to be your friend tomorrow.



"The myth of the starving artist was a hoax. Once you realized that everything was a hoax you got wise and began to bleed and burn your fellow man. I'd build an empire upon the broken bodies and lives of helpless men, women, and children - I'd shove it to them all the way. I'd show them!"

-from "Factotum" by Charles Bukowski