love sick

the ambivalent nature of my
love has run thin
it was a teeter totter of warmth,
affection and beauty
of competing malice and trickery

i loath my heart and how it toys with me
constantly knawing and chewing at my brain
making my body numb--

... i feel fuzzy and shaken-

my love has me drunk with confusion
my hate has me sober and dazed-