how is this real

i don't fuckin get it--
i really don't understand
why you woke me up to tell
me you were walking away today--

ok-- so you're leaving her--
but did you realize
that means you're also leaving me

and despite my role in your life-- i'm sad--
i'm sad i'm fucking confused i'm ..at a loss for words-

why-- what the fuck is going on--
how is this happening--

i'm still half asleep, am i still dreaming--
tell me this is a dream--

it's too drastic to not be-- it's to irrational
to be realistic--did you think about all the
effects this would have -- you know you'll be back-

you have to be-- she'll come get you- in a wave of
reckless spontaneity

i know it will happen- i don't see why you can't--
why she can't -

i just talked to her and she was so calm- so tranquil-
how is that-- what the fuck is going on--
how the fuck is this all happening with so much ease

i have never had any major transitions in my
life be so simple- but yet you- and her- you
make it seem as if nothing is changing-- but i can
see-- i can fucking see- that everything is shifting--
which will only lead to more changes-- even the little
things are going to change--
do you think your leaving will make
her life- better-- do you honestly believe that--

it will not make anything better-- it will make me her
on-call fucking therapist for the next 3 weeks i'm going to be the one to pick
up all her pieces-- you'll
be gone-- i'll be here-

i'm still dumfounded at how effortless this is for you-

i know this standoff will not last- and i know when it's
over the problems and the pain will have only started-
yet again--

but you need to do - what you feel you must- if she's
happy or if she believes she is- then maybe this is what
is supposed to be happening- but that doesn't make me any
less sad and miserable- it doesn't make her any less
likely to have problems i'll need to cater too- it
doesn't make me miss you any less- it actually doesn't fix



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