FUCK! sometimes i just want to forget everything i've ever loved in this town so i could just get the fuck out.. i keep sitting here in my own shame sucked into the filth and lies this town offers up as you cross the county line.. i get so comfortable barely surviving here that i'm afraid to go try to start again.. and then it all comes crashing down.. this house of cards i have built for myself in this fucking den of conceptual bullshit.. and i freak out.. i need a fucking car.. i think i would just leave now. if i had a car. there are still things and cats i cannot leave behind.. i still have a soul. i'm not completely fucking dead inside.. yet it's begining to feel like it. . the only responsibility keeping me here.. is this fucking notion that i need to finish school.. what the fuck is going to change in my life if i finish school.. not a fucking thing.. why am i doing this to myself.. i'm wasting my life.. and i can feel it happening.. it's a real dull pain but it's there and it's building..
i'm done.
i'm ready.
how do i do this..