7.5.09

FUCK! sometimes i just want to forget everything i've ever loved in this town so i could just get the fuck out.. i keep sitting here in my own shame sucked into the filth and lies this town offers up as you cross the county line.. i get so comfortable barely surviving here that i'm afraid to go try to start again.. and then it all comes crashing down.. this house of cards i have built for myself in this fucking den of conceptual bullshit.. and i freak out.. i need a fucking car.. i think i would just leave now. if i had a car. there are still things and cats i cannot leave behind.. i still have a soul. i'm not completely fucking dead inside.. yet it's begining to feel like it. . the only responsibility keeping me here.. is this fucking notion that i need to finish school.. what the fuck is going to change in my life if i finish school.. not a fucking thing.. why am i doing this to myself.. i'm wasting my life.. and i can feel it happening.. it's a real dull pain but it's there and it's building..
i'm done.
i'm ready.
how do i do this..

4 Comments:

Blogger Neil R Graf said...

your voice is strawberry syrup over tiny shards of glass. the things you say are like cotton candy spun with asbestos. your pain is murderous but irresistable. you are uranium-laced tobacco with a quill pen.

4:21 PM  
Blogger unimpressivesecrets said...

is this really mine..can i have it?

6:27 PM  
Blogger Neil R Graf said...

of course it's really yours. take it. you don't need permission.

2:01 PM  
Blogger rextheking said...

make new friends find new people but yes it is important to finish what you start how many people buy unfinished manuscripts or painting don't start unless you canfinish people beleive in you

1:02 PM  

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